one time? my mom? was sleeping. and she turned over in her bed (which was not in the house we have now) and she accidentally trapped a mouse in the palm of her hand. which means that this mouse had decided to creep up into her bed with her to sleep. translation: there are some fresh mice out there. and i don't mean young and nubile bodied mice, i mean, rude mice.
i think getting rid of a rude mouse is a lot like getting rid of a rude person. you have a couple of options. stop returning the mouse's calls. if he doesn't stop calling and leaving messages, you may have to text him and say something like, "super busy next couple of wks-be in touch ttyl."
pick up a rat on the subway, bring it home with you to spend the night, take tons of pics and post them on facebook the next day. change your personal interests to "rats", and your status to "in a relationship".
make mouse a mix of john mayer and ben harper songs. throw one jack johnson song in there just to confuse him, because i dont think jack johnson is all that bad. mouse won't know what happened to you, but you've changed, and i don't think i can be with you any longer....
or start wearing a ring on your wedding finger and use your left hand to gesticulate wildly like a european during your conversations. hopefully he will see the bling and back off.
or change the locks. seriously though, last time i knew about mice in a couch, the couch ended up on leaving the apartment, un-amicably.
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2 comments:
holy man, what were we thinking? facebook is CLEARLY the appropriate vehicle for ridding ourselves of mice.
nora, i adore-ah you.
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